Weekly Quote 5/18 to 5/24

"Give me such courage and I can scale the hardest peaks alone,
and transform every stumbling block into a stepping stone."

~Gail Brook Burket

Weekly Quote 5/11 to 5/17

"People often say that this or that person has not yet found himself.
But the self is not something one finds,
It is something one creates."

~Thomas Szasz

Questions Answered W/ An iPod

I'm sure several of you have got the e-mails where you put your iPod on shuffle then answer the questions. Well here's one of those. So you should do it and post your answers as comments.

1. If someone says "Is This Okay?" you say: Gimme Whatcha Got ~Chris Brown~
2. What would best describe your personality: Broken (Live) ~Seether~ *wow that sounds so emo but I love that song haha*
3. What do you like in a guy or girl: Helpless ~Lidobeach~
4. What is your life's purpose: To Struggle With Light Colors ~Daphne Loves Derby~
5. What is your motto: American Gigolo ~Weezer~
6. What do your friends think of you: No One Will Ever Love You ~Magnetic Fields~ *how ironic you tell me that all the time Austin*
7. What do you think about often: Today ~Smashing Pumpkins~
8. What is 2 + 2: Where Your Eyes Don't Go ~TMBG~
9. What do you think of your best friend(s): Holler Til You Pass Out ~3OH!3~
10. What do you think of the person you like: From The Bottom Of My Heart ~Mury~
11. What is your life story: I Survived You ~Clay Aiken~ *ha ha ha*
12. What do you want to be when you grow up: Paper Tiger ~Spoon~ *It's what I've always wanted to be*
13. What do you think when you see the person you like: Get Happy ~Bowling For Soup~
14.What do your parents think of you: Bleeding Love ~Leona Lewis~
15. What will you dance to at your wedding: Everybody Dance Now ~C + C Music Factory~ *I will play this at my wedding!*
16. What will they play at your funeral: Lighthouse ~Stillife~
17. What is your hobby or interest: Signs Of Life ~Every Move A Picture~ *Does this mean I'm into aliens or other life forms?*
18. What is your biggest secret: Everything I Am ~Ultraviolet Sound~
19. What do you think of your friends: Step Up ~Yung Joc and 3LW~
20. What's the worst thing that could happen: Nothing Could Come Between Us ~Theory Of A Deadman~
21. How will you die: Scarlet Pimpernel ~ Scarlet Pimpernel Original Cast~ *Oh my gosh he could kill me as long as he's attractive.*
22. What is the one thing you regret: Worry A Lot ~The Like Young~
23. What makes you laugh: Madame Guillotine ~ Scarlet Pimpernel Original Cast~ *That's really not funny at all.*
24. What makes you cry: High Hopes In Velvet Ropes ~The Cab~
25. Will you ever get married: Not That Kinda Girl ~JoJo~ *See I probably won't get married~
26. What scares you the most: Dead Cell ~Papa Roach~
27. Does anyone like you? Jessie's Girl ~Rick Springfield~ *I'm a little worried now*
28. If you could go back in time, what would you change: Narcolepsy ~Ben Folds~
29. What hurts right now: Someday We'll Know ~Mandy Moore and Jonathan Foreman

Medical Exams

1. A man comes into the ER and yells, "My wife's going to have her baby in the cab!"
I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady's dress, and began to take off her underwear.
Suddenly, I noticed that there were several cabs and I was in the wrong one.
~Dr. Mark MacDonald ld, San Antonio, TX

2. At the beginning of my shift, I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient's
anterior chest wall. "Big breaths," I instructed. "Yes, they used to be," replied the patient.
~Dr. Richard Byrnes, Seattle, WA

3. One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that her husband had died
of a massive myocardial infarct. Not more than five minutes later, I heard her reporting to
the rest of the family that he had died of a "massive internal fart."
~Dr. Susan Steinbergm

4. During a patient's two week follow-up appointment with his cardiologist,
he informed me, his doctor, that he was having trouble with one of his medications.
"Which one?" I asked. "The patch, the nurse told me to put on a new one every six
hours, and now I'm running out of places to put it!" I had him quickly undress, and
discovered what I hoped I wouldn't see. Yes, the man had over fifty patches on his body. Now, the instructions include
removal of the old patch before applying a new one.
~Dr. Rebecca St. Clair, Newfolk, VA.

5. While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked, "How long have you been bedridden?" After
a look of complete confusion, she answered, "Why, not for about twenty years when my husband was alive."
~Dr. Steven Swanson, Corvallis, OR.

6. I was caring for a woman and asked, "So, how's your breakfast this morning?"
"It's very good, except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can't seem to get used to the taste",the patient replied. 
I then asked to see the jelly, and the woman produced a foil packet labeled KY Jelly. 
~Dr. Leonard Kransdorf,Detroit, MI.
 
 
7. A nurse was on duty in the emergency room when a young woman with purple hair
styled into a punk rocker mohawk, sporting a variety of tattoos, and wearing 
strange clothing, entered. It was quickly determined that the patient had acute
appendicitis, so she was scheduled for immediate surgery. When she was completely
disrobed on the operating table, the staff noticed that her pubic hair had been
dyed green, and above it there was a tattoo that read, "Keep off the grass."
Once the surgery was completed, the surgeon wrote a short note on the patient's
dressing, which said, "Sorry, had to mow the lawn." 
~RN, no name

8. As a new, young MD doing his residency in OB , I was quite embarrassed when
performing female pelvic exams. To cover my embarrassment, I had unconsciously
formed a habit of whistling softly. The middle-aged lady upon whom I 
was performing this exam suddenly burst out laughing and further embarrassing me.
I looked up from my work and sheepishly said, "I'm sorry. Was I tickling you?" 
She replied, "No doctor, but the song you were whistling was, "I wish I was 
an Oscar Meyer Wiener." 
~No Name

Comic Corner- George Price

Sorry but for today's comic I don't have a link for you to follow. I was looking through my communications book for my final and I found this. I thought is was kind of funny, but then again I find a lot of stuff funny that really isn't. Anyways it's by George Price and I don't know where to find it except page 179 of "Communicating at Work".

Just a little preface: A detective is questioning a guy in his apartment...

"Next question: I believe that life is a constant striving for balance,

requiring frequent tradeoffs between morality and necessity,

within a cyclic pattern of joy and sadness,

forging a trail of bittersweet memories until one slips, inevitably,

into the jaws of death.

Agree or disagree?"

So now I want you to answer the question, ready, set, go!

Weekly Quote 5/4 to 5/10

"Guided by my heritage of a love of beauty and a respect for strength

in search of my mother's garden I found my own."

~Alice Walker