Black history month starts this Sunday February 1st. So why not have a quote from one of America's most influential African American leaders.
"No, no we are not satisfied,
and we will not be satisfied until justice rolls down
like waters and righteousness like a mighty stream."
~Martin Luther King Jr.~
1/26/09
1/19/09
Weekly Quote 1/19 to 1/25
So with America having a new president, which I am very excited about. I can't believe all the changes he has already put into effect and it has not even been a week. Anyways this quote seemed perfect for this week.
"Often do the spirits of great events stride on before the events,
and in to-day walks to-morrow."
~Samuel Taylor Coleridge~
"Often do the spirits of great events stride on before the events,
and in to-day walks to-morrow."
~Samuel Taylor Coleridge~
1/12/09
Weekly Quote 1/12 to 1/18
So I really like this weeks quote, I think not only does it apply to everyone in their daily lives but also to bloggers or anyone who enjoys writing.
"If you would not be forgotten as soon as you are dead,
either write things worth reading or do things worth writing."
~Benjamin Franklin~
1/11/09
Body Worlds/Stupid Things I Do In Life
So last night I went and saw Body Worlds at the Leonardo here in Utah. It is really amazing and I had a great time. If you didn't get the chance to see it... I don't mean to make you feel bad, but you missed out big time.
There was really so much you could have learned from it and really I don't know how to express just how great it was.
Also as promised I'm keeping you updated -- Garrett (the guy from Chili's) texted me last night while I was at the exhibit. I'm very happy about that being that since I really wasn't expecting him to. So yay! Much love Garrett!
1/9/09
Stupid Things I Do In Life
So tonight my family and I went to Chili's, we're waiting to be seated and this waiter walks by and oh-so-obviously checks me out (like, I'm pretty sure no one missed it). I was like, "All well, that was sweet, what girl doesn't love getting checked out," right?
So we get seated and our waiter walks over; lo and behold, it's the one that checked me out. I sit there thinking "Well this should make for an interesting dinner." So anyway he waits on us and brings us pretty much extra of everything we ordered. We ask for food and he brings it so fast, like it's better than any service I think I may have gotten at a restaurant. Totally awesome.
We eat and get ready to go and I'm like, "You know, I might as well give the kid my number, I'll just work my way around the Chili's male staff," haha. I pay the bill and as we walk out pass the kid my number.
*Note to girls: Always carry a note pad and pen in your purse... it comes in handy. :)*
So I hand it to him and say: "Thanks, have a good night."
He replies: "Yes ma'am and thanks! I was hoping you would give me your number."
This is where it gets good -- I'm already walking out and really not paying too much attention because:
1. I don't usually give my number out to guys, I either get theirs or someone I'm with gives it to them.
2. I usually don't make the first move in these situations, *guys cut girls some slack we get nervous around you more than I think you know*.
So I reply, "Yeah, I know you were." By the time that lovely line has escaped my mouth I'm thinking "Oh man, oh man, where is the nearest exit?!" Honestly, I'm not really sure why I said it or what the hell I was thinking, oye ve!
Now I'm waiting to see if he calls tomorrow. Let's pray I don't ruin it then. Also, I'm wondering, do I apply the 24 hour rule or cut some slack? If he doesn't call, then oh well, it was funny and rather entertaining no matter the outcome. I will keep you updated oh the whole situation.
If by any chance you're reading this in the future for some odd reason, there is the explanation of why I did what I did, Garrett, haha.
Comic Corner-Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
So I wanted to say thanks to Austin for showing me this strip. It's pretty amazing, and it's called...
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
That one is possibly my favorite so far. There are so many levels of hilarity to it and besides the fact that the comic itself is amazing, there are always inside jokes. Good times!
These ones are pretty great as well...
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
That one is possibly my favorite so far. There are so many levels of hilarity to it and besides the fact that the comic itself is amazing, there are always inside jokes. Good times!
These ones are pretty great as well...
1/8/09
Life
The family stood at the casket of their dead father, crying. Was it out of joy that he was finally out of the pain or pain that he was now gone? The day their father left the earth changed the family's life forever. Mom got married only a short time later to a man that my brother and I did not like; she claimed to be happy but was she? Would he be leaving next, we could only hope. Maybe not through death but just get up and go. Let me cling once he is gone to what little of my past I can now remember: the times when I found joy in life and in the things I did; when every day I had no worries but to know who could play with me that day or when my dad would carry me on his shoulders and take me to get ice cream.The days when I had those problems and he would spend his time working with me and helping to make me stronger, It's funny how the little details seem the least important and how life just seems as though there is nothing good in the world until you go through a traumatic event. Until you realize how lucky you are and were, to be where you are today. Sometimes people ask me about the events in my life and how I deal with them today, and I have no answer to tell them. I think it was because of God, but how do I convey that to a person who does not believe what I do? There was this day that will stand in my mind for all time, overriding all thoughts and feelings to the point that it becomes unbearable.
My father, grandfather and I stood at the cool dusty ranch getting the horse ready to be ridden. I remember as I stood there waiting patiently for everything to be finished it seemed very arduous and as though I would be there for days on end. I did not expect what was coming next: the horse not liking the idea of being ridden started to run at me. The last thing I remember was falling to the ground, tasting the dry dirt in my mouth and feeling the weight of something on top of me. Until after the ordeal was over I did not realize that my father was the one who had jumped on me after my horse had knocked me over. Had he not done that I would have died from the horse stepping on my head and the force that was exhausted.
I sat in the cold, hard chair shaking people's hand and accepting their apologies, and as I sat I thought of the time when all of this began. I had gotten the day off of school to go play cards with some of my grandmother's friends. My father had been sick lately and my mother had taken him in for some tests. My aunt got a phone call and suddenly a stressed look came across her face. She hung up and immediately told me that I was to go with her to the hospital to see my dad. I did not think much of it but that my mom wanted me to see him. As I came into the room I was informed that he had cancer and the doctors did not know how long he would live. Still I got a most comforting feeling that came over me, and I knew that it would be alright for now. He was to start chemo therapy as soon as possible, and the next part of our lives would be complete hell. Did we know that less than a week later he would be put in intensive care because he was not doing so well? Why was it that we had so many questions that could not be answered? After months of being in intensive care and no one in the family being able to see him, father came home on mother's day, what my mom said was her best gift. He continued chemo therapy and was constantly sick; there were so many nights when I awoke with the loud noise of paramedics running past my room to get to where my father was lying in bed, and you could hear the sirens outside my window. Life was changing so fast and there was absolutely nothing that I or anyone else could do about it. Everything and everyone seemed so distant and as though they did not understand me. Was I alone in the world to face everything by myself? What had happened to everyone I was once so close to?
After being home only a short while my father was put back into the hospital because his situation was getting worse and he now had a tumor on his brain that was eventually going to kill him if nothing was done immediately. He was taken in for an evasive and very horrendous surgery to have a shunt put in his head to help blood flow and the tumor to shrink. He no longer could remember basic things and thought people were coming to get him. He once again recovered and came back home through every day we never knew how much longer we had with him, or if today would be the day he would die. On a cold rainy October day he became paralyzed from the waist down. My mother could barely handle what was going on in her life at the time, and now this was added on. Where was her luck? He now had to move about in a wheelchair and we always had to be around to help him reach things he no longer could. All I could think was if it was so hard on our family how it must have been on him. To have to go through all of this pain and suffering, and rely on people to do everything for you and your family, or to know that you may die today and not see anyone you loved ever again. The road had already been long and hard and who was to say it wouldn't be harder in the days and months to come? We did not know what lay ahead of us; all we had was our past, which is all I have now. The memories, the photos, the videos he used to love to make, and my family.
Harder times were still to come; my father was out of work because he was going through chemo. My mother had never worked since she was a teenager, but how many years ago had that been? She suddenly had to go back to work while still supporting my father and trying to be the best mother she could. She would come home at night and just lie in bed crying, until two in the morning when she thought no one was up; asking God what she had done wrong in life to deserve such a fate. The agony that my father suffered was obvious, and you could see him struggle to get from the bed to his wheelchair, which now imprisoned him. He rarely ate and when he did he could barely keep it down for more than a few hours or long enough to do his body an good at all. Still he got up one day determined to fight and went to his work. They had told him they would keep his job free in the hopes that he would quickly return. When they saw him in the wheelchair unable to use his legs and not getting around as fast as he used to, that was a different story. On the spot he was fired and came home discouraged more than ever before. The family did not know what to do for him now, we had tried our best to cheer him up, but although we had hoped it would, it sadly did not work. Nothing we did seemed to help; my mother made his favorite foods and we spent time together as a family, but it was no use. He had no work and slowly as time went on, no life.
Then, on a cool December night my brother and I went to take my cousin home, when we returned we could not have expected what was about to happen. As we walked in the door my mom told us that our father had passed away. The news came to us as a shock, and yet all along we were waiting and knowing it was going to happen. By this time many friends and family members had arrived to comfort us and to just be of support. Although they may have thought their apologizes and kind words such as "I know how you feel", or "everything will be alright," would help, it only made the situation even harder to bear.
Emotions were mixed that night and no one knew how to feel or how to go on with life. We all knew it would never be the same again and that quite a few things would change. I did not know how to handle what was going on, there were so many people. The line of people who came to pay their respects never seemed to end, and hours dragged on and on. A man came in carrying chicken nuggets for the children who were waiting patiently for their parents to get through talking with people, they all hid behind a curtain to eat. I ask you this, who brings chicken nuggets to a viewing? Apparently that man and I will never forget that either. So many people knew him in so many different ways, different relationships, work, school and other things he did throughout his life, it amazed me. Finally the day of the funeral came and everyone was in a hurry. We got to the church to set up early and there was a line of people already waiting for the doors to be opened. All this meant to me was more agonizing torture of standing in line listening to people. Everyone spoke of him, their memories and sadness. Finally my turn came, I walked up to the stand slowly, never thinking I would be in this situation at such an early age. I spoke and heard my voice shaking. I told of what I knew of my father, his love for his family, how we always spent time together and how much he loved to ride his Harley Davidson motorcycle.
If a viewing and funeral were not hard enough to deal with then you have to watch the large wooden box with remains of a loved one be put in a Hearse and follow it to the cemetery, where just days ago you chose a final resting spot not only for a father but for the rest of your family when their and your own time comes. As you watched a casket being put into a freshly dug hole, leaving a mount of dirt which will soon cover the box and be buried underneath layers of snow, as a cold December comes to a close with Christmas just around the corner. How could people find such joy in this time of year, as all I see in place of a holiday of gifts is depression and sadness? Gifts no longer matter to me as that is not what Christmas should be about.
That day was the day I decided to block out all emotions and to not hurt anymore. Yes, it seems cold and wrong and it probably is but it helps, now as I walk down the store aisles or see something he would have liked it stops the tears and the pain. It seems my whole family has blocked off their emotions, nothing ever gets said about our past unless it is the more recent past. You will find that music and constantly keeping busy help you to not have time to think. But is it really good to block what you feel, to block who you are? People will never get to know the real you, no matter what kind of person you pretend to be on the outside.
Anyways all I can say is that no matter what people tell you, you will never get over the pain, it never gets any better. Yes that sounds depressing but I cannot lie to you. There will always be the good and the bad or happy and sad but take one day at a time like I do and you will get through it in the best way that is possible. Remember though to always look to the future but keep your past with you in one way or another.
A big event can change you in so many ways and in so many aspects of your life that what seemed important in the past like nice cars, money and always getting what you want are no longer important. What matters is the time you have with your family and how you choose to spend it. How you treat people and what kind of service you do. It also matters how people think of you and what kind of person you will be remembered as. All you can do is live life and love it.
*Side Note: This story was written as a paper for English in high school, thanks for reading!*
My father, grandfather and I stood at the cool dusty ranch getting the horse ready to be ridden. I remember as I stood there waiting patiently for everything to be finished it seemed very arduous and as though I would be there for days on end. I did not expect what was coming next: the horse not liking the idea of being ridden started to run at me. The last thing I remember was falling to the ground, tasting the dry dirt in my mouth and feeling the weight of something on top of me. Until after the ordeal was over I did not realize that my father was the one who had jumped on me after my horse had knocked me over. Had he not done that I would have died from the horse stepping on my head and the force that was exhausted.
I sat in the cold, hard chair shaking people's hand and accepting their apologies, and as I sat I thought of the time when all of this began. I had gotten the day off of school to go play cards with some of my grandmother's friends. My father had been sick lately and my mother had taken him in for some tests. My aunt got a phone call and suddenly a stressed look came across her face. She hung up and immediately told me that I was to go with her to the hospital to see my dad. I did not think much of it but that my mom wanted me to see him. As I came into the room I was informed that he had cancer and the doctors did not know how long he would live. Still I got a most comforting feeling that came over me, and I knew that it would be alright for now. He was to start chemo therapy as soon as possible, and the next part of our lives would be complete hell. Did we know that less than a week later he would be put in intensive care because he was not doing so well? Why was it that we had so many questions that could not be answered? After months of being in intensive care and no one in the family being able to see him, father came home on mother's day, what my mom said was her best gift. He continued chemo therapy and was constantly sick; there were so many nights when I awoke with the loud noise of paramedics running past my room to get to where my father was lying in bed, and you could hear the sirens outside my window. Life was changing so fast and there was absolutely nothing that I or anyone else could do about it. Everything and everyone seemed so distant and as though they did not understand me. Was I alone in the world to face everything by myself? What had happened to everyone I was once so close to?
After being home only a short while my father was put back into the hospital because his situation was getting worse and he now had a tumor on his brain that was eventually going to kill him if nothing was done immediately. He was taken in for an evasive and very horrendous surgery to have a shunt put in his head to help blood flow and the tumor to shrink. He no longer could remember basic things and thought people were coming to get him. He once again recovered and came back home through every day we never knew how much longer we had with him, or if today would be the day he would die. On a cold rainy October day he became paralyzed from the waist down. My mother could barely handle what was going on in her life at the time, and now this was added on. Where was her luck? He now had to move about in a wheelchair and we always had to be around to help him reach things he no longer could. All I could think was if it was so hard on our family how it must have been on him. To have to go through all of this pain and suffering, and rely on people to do everything for you and your family, or to know that you may die today and not see anyone you loved ever again. The road had already been long and hard and who was to say it wouldn't be harder in the days and months to come? We did not know what lay ahead of us; all we had was our past, which is all I have now. The memories, the photos, the videos he used to love to make, and my family.
Harder times were still to come; my father was out of work because he was going through chemo. My mother had never worked since she was a teenager, but how many years ago had that been? She suddenly had to go back to work while still supporting my father and trying to be the best mother she could. She would come home at night and just lie in bed crying, until two in the morning when she thought no one was up; asking God what she had done wrong in life to deserve such a fate. The agony that my father suffered was obvious, and you could see him struggle to get from the bed to his wheelchair, which now imprisoned him. He rarely ate and when he did he could barely keep it down for more than a few hours or long enough to do his body an good at all. Still he got up one day determined to fight and went to his work. They had told him they would keep his job free in the hopes that he would quickly return. When they saw him in the wheelchair unable to use his legs and not getting around as fast as he used to, that was a different story. On the spot he was fired and came home discouraged more than ever before. The family did not know what to do for him now, we had tried our best to cheer him up, but although we had hoped it would, it sadly did not work. Nothing we did seemed to help; my mother made his favorite foods and we spent time together as a family, but it was no use. He had no work and slowly as time went on, no life.
Then, on a cool December night my brother and I went to take my cousin home, when we returned we could not have expected what was about to happen. As we walked in the door my mom told us that our father had passed away. The news came to us as a shock, and yet all along we were waiting and knowing it was going to happen. By this time many friends and family members had arrived to comfort us and to just be of support. Although they may have thought their apologizes and kind words such as "I know how you feel", or "everything will be alright," would help, it only made the situation even harder to bear.
Emotions were mixed that night and no one knew how to feel or how to go on with life. We all knew it would never be the same again and that quite a few things would change. I did not know how to handle what was going on, there were so many people. The line of people who came to pay their respects never seemed to end, and hours dragged on and on. A man came in carrying chicken nuggets for the children who were waiting patiently for their parents to get through talking with people, they all hid behind a curtain to eat. I ask you this, who brings chicken nuggets to a viewing? Apparently that man and I will never forget that either. So many people knew him in so many different ways, different relationships, work, school and other things he did throughout his life, it amazed me. Finally the day of the funeral came and everyone was in a hurry. We got to the church to set up early and there was a line of people already waiting for the doors to be opened. All this meant to me was more agonizing torture of standing in line listening to people. Everyone spoke of him, their memories and sadness. Finally my turn came, I walked up to the stand slowly, never thinking I would be in this situation at such an early age. I spoke and heard my voice shaking. I told of what I knew of my father, his love for his family, how we always spent time together and how much he loved to ride his Harley Davidson motorcycle.
If a viewing and funeral were not hard enough to deal with then you have to watch the large wooden box with remains of a loved one be put in a Hearse and follow it to the cemetery, where just days ago you chose a final resting spot not only for a father but for the rest of your family when their and your own time comes. As you watched a casket being put into a freshly dug hole, leaving a mount of dirt which will soon cover the box and be buried underneath layers of snow, as a cold December comes to a close with Christmas just around the corner. How could people find such joy in this time of year, as all I see in place of a holiday of gifts is depression and sadness? Gifts no longer matter to me as that is not what Christmas should be about.
That day was the day I decided to block out all emotions and to not hurt anymore. Yes, it seems cold and wrong and it probably is but it helps, now as I walk down the store aisles or see something he would have liked it stops the tears and the pain. It seems my whole family has blocked off their emotions, nothing ever gets said about our past unless it is the more recent past. You will find that music and constantly keeping busy help you to not have time to think. But is it really good to block what you feel, to block who you are? People will never get to know the real you, no matter what kind of person you pretend to be on the outside.
Anyways all I can say is that no matter what people tell you, you will never get over the pain, it never gets any better. Yes that sounds depressing but I cannot lie to you. There will always be the good and the bad or happy and sad but take one day at a time like I do and you will get through it in the best way that is possible. Remember though to always look to the future but keep your past with you in one way or another.
A big event can change you in so many ways and in so many aspects of your life that what seemed important in the past like nice cars, money and always getting what you want are no longer important. What matters is the time you have with your family and how you choose to spend it. How you treat people and what kind of service you do. It also matters how people think of you and what kind of person you will be remembered as. All you can do is live life and love it.
*Side Note: This story was written as a paper for English in high school, thanks for reading!*
1/5/09
Weekly Quote 1/5 to 1/11
So each week I am going to put up a new quote, if you have any that you think are really good let me know. Thanks.
new resources, even when we are reduced to immobility.
In life's ledger there is no such thing as frozen assets."
~Henry Miller~
